


Not Knowing How To Go On

by EmbracingLarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Gemma can see ghosts, Harry can see the future, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-18
Updated: 2013-06-18
Packaged: 2017-12-15 10:38:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/848548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmbracingLarry/pseuds/EmbracingLarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Harry's vision comes true, he blames himself for his and his friends loss. How could he not have stopped this from happening? He turns to his sister to help him find a way to make it through, but she is not able to help him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Knowing How To Go On

**Author's Note:**

> I read a fic where Harry and his sister Gemma had special abilities, and so this is kind of inspired by that.

"I can't help you Harry! You know there's nothing I can do!" My sister Gemma cried at me, tears streaming down her pretty face. But I couldn't hear the words coming out of her mouth. I wouldn't have it. There must be a way. I had to talk to him again. I had to. If I thought of going one more day without him, I would explode, from inside out. I couldn't do it. I just...I couldn't.

{3 days earlier}

When Paul had come and picked me, Liam, and Zayn up, I though it had something to do with management. Maybe Louis and I had been too obvious lately. Maybe Zayn and Liam had been too obvious lately. Maybe they just wanted to bitch at us some more. But one look at Paul's face, I could see something was seriously off.

"Paul, what's happened??" I questioned urgently, dreading the answer. He silently stared straight ahead at the road, concentrating on driving through the rain. "Paul?!?" I needed to know what was wrong. The feeling in between my stomach and my ribs was suffocating. Fear.

"There's-" he broke and gulped back a dry sob, "There's...there's been a-an accident." At this point, tears began welling up in his eyes, still watching the wet, foggy road in front of him.

An accident. What did that even mean..."With Louis?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer. I had seen it, months before. But I thought we had averted it. Stupid me to forget that that's not how it works. The universe will find a way. It always does. I turned to look at Zayn in the back seat, holding Liam's hand, and when our eyes met, I knew he knew what had happened. Zayn was the only other person I had told about what I'd seen. Our eyes stayed locked, until he broke away, tears forming in his eyes as he drew Liam closer to him and choked back a sob.

"N-not just Louis," Paul choked out, "Niall...Niall was w-with him." Tears were streaming down Paul's face. The rain was beating at the windshield, but it felt like the rain was also beating at my heart, tearing, ripping, pounding. Niall?! That wasn't what I'd seen! I frantically looked back at Zayn, a horrified expression spreading across his face. I turned back to face the front. How could I have let this happen. How could I have done this. It was my fault. It was my fault for being like this. If I'd never seen it...maybe it wouldn't be happening. I closed my eyes and shook that terrifyingly creepy thought out of my head as we pulled up to the hospital. Liam, Zayn and I raced inside and up the stairs. The nurse knew who we were, and led us to the right floor. Her face was white, but she explained to us that we had to stay in the waiting room, because Niall was just about to go into surgery.

"What about Louis??" I questioned quickly, heart pounding loudly under my rain-soaked shirt. One look at her face, and I knew. I stared blankly at her for another ten seconds, my eyes wide open. I walked over to a chair, my limbs moving robotically, and looked at it. I knew I was supposed to sit on it. That's what chairs were for. But things didn't happen like they were supposed to. Life was for living. But Louis...I pushed that though away, as anger took over my brain. Fury, at myself, at the universe, for letting this happen. I grabbed the chair and threw it at the wall with all my strength. I was screaming, screaming, but no words were coming out. Zayn and Liam's arms came around me, but I wasn't paying attention to them. I thrashed, trying to get out of their grip, bellowing Louis' name through the hospital, as if he wasn't gone, and if I yelled loud enough, he'd turn the corner and exclaim "Haz! Whatsup buddy!"

But he didn't. And eventually my shouts and cries turned into sobs. My whole body shook as I sank to the floor and cried. I drew my knees into my chest and rocked back and forth muttering and sobbing "No...Louis...no LouLou no...it can't...I can't...I can't do this...Louis...can't...gone...no....no...no..." I moaned. It felt like someone had punched me in the gut, then reached up through the hole thy had just punched and ripped out my heart. No, it felt like someone was stabbing me repeatedly through my heart. No, it felt like I was getting run over by a truck. I could feel the pressure on my heart, strangling it, forcing choked, echoing sobs out of my throat. My mind was completely blank however. All that I was thinking about was the pain.

{3 days later}

He woke up in a room dimmed of light. He blinked confused, where the fuck was he. He looked around the room and realized he was in his childhood bedroom. He turned to his right, and his mother was sitting there, smiling encouragingly at him from her perch. "Good morning Harry! Or should I say, good afternoon! It's three o'clock love."

He stared at her, not comprehending. What was going on...why was He here...what-and then he remembered. Louis. Oh no, Louis. Louis no "LOUIS" he screamed, eyes wide, searching my mother's face.

"Harry, you've been sleeping on and off for the past three days, waking up, yelling 'Louis!' And then falling back asleep." She watched his face carefully.

He stared at her. So it was real. It wasn't all a dream. Louis was really d-dead. Gone. He'd never see him again. Never share and ice cream with him again. Never watch those eyes crinkle up when he laughed. Oh lord, he'd never hear that laugh again! Never...never...he sat up "Oh Louis, Louis, Louis. Why," his hands covering his face. Suddenly he remembered. He was not the only one with stupid, freaky-deaky abilities in this family. "Where's Gemma?" He asked his mother breathlessly, hardly believing that he was soon going to be able to speak with his love again.

His mother stared at him quietly. "She's in her room down the hall, Harry. But you know she can't. That's not how it works Har-" but Harry was already out the doorway, racing down the hall to Gemma's room, heart leaping in anticipation. He knocked loudly, "Gemma Gemma Gemma Gemma Gemma Gem-" she opened the door with a strange look on her face. It was a mix of sadness, understanding, expectancy, and...apology. Harry threw her door open and walked in, sitting himself down on her bed, looking up at her expectantly. She must know what he's here! She observed him from above, before heaving herself into a chair with a sigh. She looked at him with sad eyes before speaking. "You know I can't Harry."

He glared at her, uncomprehending. It was Louis. Louis! She must not understand, he had to talk with him. He continued staring at her until she broke away, staring at her hands in her lap, shaking her head. "I can't do it Harry. You know I can't. You of all people know I simply can't. I wish I could Harry. You have no idea...but I just...I just can't." Her eyes helplessly turned to him, seeking acceptance, wanting to see it in his eyes that he understood, that it was okay. But he didn't understand. It was not okay. "I need to speak with Louis." He spoke clearly, so she would understand. But she was shaking her head, tears welling up in her eyes "Harry, stop, you know I can't do it. That's not how it works Harry! I can't!"

He glared at her for not understanding. He didn't just want to speak with Louis. He needed to speak with Louis. He couldn't imagine a day where he hasn't spoken with Louis. It just didn't click. "Gemma. I need to speak with Louis."

"I can't help you Harry! You know there's nothing I can do!" Gemma cried at me, tears streaming down her pretty face. But he couldn't hear the words coming out of her mouth. He wouldn't have it. There must be a way. He had to talk to him again. He had to. If he thought of going one more day without him, he would explode, from inside out. He couldn't do it. He just...he couldn't.


End file.
